Cinderella you shall go to the ball

Stage Fright!

Tonight is the very first performance of my local pantomime, Cinderella - that I will be starring in! It is truly terrifying for me because I am often not the most confident of people, and I have never done anything on this scale before. I think the most people I have ever sung/acted in front of has to be less than five. However, I am trying to stay calm because I absolutely panicked at the dress rehearsal last night - like a goldfish in the spotlight it was so humiliating. There were only about 10 people in the 'audience' last night for the dress rehearsal, but to me it felt like a million. I felt really sweaty, shaky and I just got spooked. Therefore, today I am trying a very different approach. I am going to try and be calm and collected - according to most of the interweb, this is the way to overcome stage fright. Anything is worth a try.


Today must be spent releasing positive energy all day then, and I must think of only what can go perfectly, rather than switching to my usual Domesday tactics. Let's kick off with some positive talk (okay, typing - but you know what I mean). There is a reason that I have been chosen for the part. I can sing well, and I have been told this by people I trust. I have done it right many, many times and wrong a significantly smaller amount of times. I know my lines and I know what I am doing. The audience do not exist, and with the lights I can't see them anyway. I should focus on my character and what I am supposed to be doing, rather than thinking only of the audience.

What do you think? I'm just going to try and be calm all day, and although I will obviously be thinking about it, but only in a positive way. I'm going to have a really enjoyable time, as this is a career path that I am potentially looking at, because musical theatre is something that I very much enjoy doing. I just need to take it down a notch, ignore the audience and concentrate on what I am doing - and try to do it to the best of my ability, and not judge myself according to what I think the audience might be thinking that I'm thinking. God, I'm such a worrier!

Time to listen to relaxing music on Youtube and Google ways to beat stage fright and pre-stage performance nerves....

Wish me luck! Do you have any tips for me?

I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!

I'm a little bit obsessed with I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!

As some of you may know, I'm a Celebrity has been on our screens here in the UK for the last week or so, and I'm so pleased that it has finally arrived. A group of celebrities surviving in the jungle, earning their food by participating in trails full of creepy crawlies and other horrible gunk. I watch it every year, and I'm always getting hyped up about the gossip, and laughing hysterically when they do the trials. There has already been some bitching this year, about beauty pageant queen Amy Willerton (pictured above). She is blamed for being lazy and not doing anything in the camp to help out, and is being ostracized by the other girls in the camp. I think that this is quite unfair and that they're not going about this in the right way at all. Take the drying-up argument as an example. Admittedly, Amy was standing there aimlessly drying up.. very slowly and vacantly. I saw it for myself, that is the way that she was doing it. However, Laila  or 'Mo' stepped in, grabbed the dish out of her hands and just proceeded to do it for her because she "couldn't bear to watch her do it". This, to me, is where they are going wrong. Amy is young, and like many others both in her industry and in her age group, are not very experienced at carrying out domestic chores and tasks. Therefore, I would suggest that in that instance, "Mo" should have taught her how to do the drying up properly, as many of the celebrities are in the jungle to learn, about things that they never knew they never knew! Irritates me.

Other than that, I think the celebrities are doing really well. Last night, Annabel was voted off which surprised me. Personally, I thought that she was one of the stronger members of the camp - and quite frankly, I can't wait to see the back of Alfonso! He is argumentative, rude, and is talking about other campmates a little too much. Having said that, him and David made a valiant effort at keeping Amy's spirits up and didn't get involved in the cattiness and fighting, which I really appreciated. I'm really enjoying the series and think that all is going well - I've never seen a group of celebrities win so many stars. I have a very public hatred of Lucy, for being such a bitch all the time, and surprisingly, David is warming on me. I hope that the series just goes from strength to strength, as I am hooked already.

Gap Yah

I may have mentioned previously that I am on a gap year. I needed some time away  to really think about what I wanted to do and what direction I wanted life to take me in. It seems that many people (in fact the majority that I have spoken to) wish that they had had some time to really take stock.

However, I don't intend to let the grass grow under my feet this year, and I am trying to make the most of the time that I have. At the moment, I work 7 days a week - and have a day off less than once a month. Having said that, it's not as difficult as it sounds because it is just temp work. It has motivated me to make the most of my university degree, once I head off post-travelling. I plan to go to; Burma, Thailand, Ecuador, Peru, Costa Rica, Honduras, Nicaraguas and Mexico. Alongside the inevitable sight seeing I will also be doing my bit for the local community by means of volunteering and the like. Here's hoping that it will be an invaluable experience.

At the moment I'm just tired and frustrated, and let's face it - if I can't rant here on my own blog then where can I?! It's really, really hard work and I'm just longing for the day that I can go away and forget about everything. Spend the days in pursuit of nothing other than my own enjoyment. Relax in the sunshine, or visit some old and long-forgotten old corner of the world. See old friends who live in other countries, and make new friends in foreign lands. This world is so huge, and I feel like there is SO much to see that I just can't wait to get out there.

But for now, I'm just biding my time and saving up the money. There's nothing else to be said apart from "It'll all be worth it", which is repeated to me millions of times a day, after a long hard day. I know it'll all come right in the end, and I'm not regretting what I am doing and the decisions that I am making, but that doesn't make it any easier to be at work all the time. Some day, I would like to own my own company, giving me the freedom to do as I please and at the same time, be really involved in the crux of the business. Hopefully an international company, allowing me to keep exploring the wonderful world that I am a part of.

Rant over.

It's Hard Out Here - Review.

Lily Allen - Hard Out Here Review

I am stunned by Lily Allen's "comeback" video. In a good way I mean. I think the message that she is sending out for young women everywhere is a positive one, perfectly timed considering the controversy created by Miley's twerking and the lyrics in Robin Thicke's new song 'Blurred Lines'. it makes a change for a woman to step out for a reason, rather than "just to create a new controversy". It's clear that she has a point to make, and I think that she makes it very well. In this day and age, when women should be equal and are making (limited) improvements regarding equality in the workplace, I think the media isn't reflecting this at the moment. Bikini clad dancers in music videos, and emaciated models on the catwalk seem to have been taken as the norm, but now Ms Allen has addressed the issue in full. When I was watching the video I was grimacing but that's precisely the point. The objectification and sexually driven images of women in the media are disturbing, especially if Miley Cyrus' most recent performances are anything to go by.

One of my aspirations for the future is to work more on my singing and acting, and I hope that the industry makes way for strong women who have real things to talk about, and real messages to put out there. However the more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps Lily Allen hasn't gone the best way about it. I have much more respect and admiration for women like Adele and Emeli Sande who have respect for the industry and don't delve too deeply in the media attention. I think a more successful 'feminist' angle would be to concentrate on the music, and show that women do not sink to the level of *some* men (I appreciate that this is a huge sweeping statement), by using sex as a tool for media attention. Lily Allen has played into the hands of the media here, by using this issue to sell records. Maybe. I don't think that is the case, but with her return to music I think it should be taken into account that she would want to make an impression, to secure her place once more within the music industry. Musically speaking, her new song is bland and it feels like a speech to the media rather than a top-quality song. Seems fairly hypocritical considering she is blaming people for focusing on the media rather than the song itself.

Having said that, what she is doing here is still hugely valuable, as the issue does need to be addressed. It has already been brought to the public's attention that women are being undermined in the industry and protests up and down the country about 'Blurred Lines' have shown that. "You're an animal, baby it's in your nature" is a huge put-down to feminists, and his only justification for it was that he liked to be controversial to 'keep things fresh'. Personally, I think that feminism should open up choices for women, so that they can have the freedom to do as they please. This seems to be what Lily Allen is intending to do, battling against other celebs who insist that 'sex sells', swinging naked on a wrecking ball - clearly not doing women any favours. All I can say is that I hope this is a one-off from Lily Allen, and that she builds up respect for producing truly great music. Credit to her though, for putting a very strong message out there, and also singing beautifully in her Christmassy 'Somewhere Only We Know', which is a great tune.

Me, Myself and I.

Congratulations for stumbling across my little blog!

I’m really pleased that you have found me, and I do hope that you will stay for a while. At the moment there isn’t really a route or a destination for this blog: I will just see where it takes me. Although I do already have a travel blog about my worldwide adventures, I find that I don’t get to update it as often as I would like. This new blog seems to be the solution, as I will be able to write posts as and when the mood takes me. I have been reading blogs for quite some time now, and have been inspired by the stories of bloggers such as Zoella and Sprinkle of Glitter to write my own blog and to give it a go – I suppose it can’t hurt.

So, a little more about me. I am 19 years old, and currently on a gap year – therefore working all of the hours that God sends at the moment, to be able to afford to go travelling in February. I’m hoping to study Spanish at university, and will therefore enjoy spending the majority of my gap year in South America. When I’ve not got my head in a book, I really enjoy being on stage. I absolutely adore musical theatre, and will be performing with my local group fairly soon after Christmas. No doubt there will be theatre trips galore, and general ranting and raving about musicals! Another thing that I really enjoy (that I should probably do a lot more of) is baking. I find it really relaxing, and at the same time productive, with a delicious treat at the end. I wish I had more time to bake, but occasionally at the weekend I’ll whip up a mean lemon drizzle cake.

                                            FAVOURITE PLACE

I have to say that my favourite country as a whole that I have ever been to has to be Cuba. I had the absolute time of my life, and really enjoyed speaking Spanish and living life on ‘Cuban time’. I do have a blog post about this on my travel blog, if you would like to check it out. However, my favourite single ‘spot’, in the world has to be Times Square, I felt dazzled and inspired by the twinkling lights and the hubbub of the city as a whole.

FAVOURITE MOVIE

Okay, so this one is fairly easy. Ever since I was a small child, I have always loved the Narnia books – and therefore the movies too! There was a series made by the BBC in the 1990s which we had on video, yes video (!) that I would watch over and over and over and over again. The new movies were a welcome upgrade, but the vintage Narnia films will never be far from the top of my favourites list. More modern day films I enjoy would include; Shutter Island, Inception, Avatar and Titanic. Fairly standard human being response there, I know.

FAVOURITE MUSICAL                         

This is, without a shadow of a doubt the musical ‘Oliver’. I adore the characters and their gritty determination, the historical references and of course the music that accompanies it all beautifully. I always get lost in the story, and I have watched the DVD more times than I can even bear to count. Actually, I was admitted to hospital for pneumonia for a week when I was about ten years old, and I watched it wall-to-wall, 24/7 practically the whole time that I was conscious.

FAVOURITE SEASON

My favourite season is Spring. I love the changes that happen, and the beautiful new flowers beginning to emerge. It gives me the sense that the world is waking up after a cosy festive slumber. Life can start again, and I can start life afresh on a new page. New Year’s resolutions are in full swing by this time, and I’m feeling very motivated! It’s still not warm so you get those lovely crisp mornings, with the sunshine streaming through the tiny leaves beginning to grow on the trees. Beautiful.